Almost Done

ok...here i am...i am almost done with all of my basic training....don't i look spiffy in my uniform...just thought i would holler at everyone and let you know that i am still alive...hope everyone is doing good and enjoying life...talk to everyone soon..

JUST ANOTHER POEM FOR YOU

Time Alone

--------------

My head hurts,
Please make it go away.
My heart is breaking,
I just can’t stand the pain.

The feeling of emptiness,
Is with me everyday.
When will this pain,
Start to fade away?

I need some time off.
I need some time alone.
Will you be okay,
If I leave you on your own?

I need to get away,
To redefine who I am.
I don’t remember anymore,
And no one gives a damn.

I do ! I care !
I miss me everyday.
I just need to be free.
I need to get away.

LOTS BEEN HAPPENING...

OK..THERE HAS BEEN A LOT GOING ON SINCE I LAST POSTED...BILL AND I ATTENDED A WEDDING THAT WAS WAY OVER DUE....

THE GIRLS GOT A NEW POOL THAT THEY ABSOLUTELY LOVE.....

THEY HAVEN'T BEEN OUT OF IT FOR 3 DAYS....

THE GIRLS ARE ALL GOOD...CRAZY AS EVER....AND TWICE AS ROTTEN AS EVER, BUT THEY ARE HAVING A GREAT SUMMER....THEY ARE READY TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL NEXT MONTH...BILL AND I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BIG THEY ARE GETTING...STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE OLD...

AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, I BELIEVE I HAVE A NEW JOB COMING UP... I TOOK MY WRITTEN TEST TO WORK AS A CORRECTIONS OFFICER AT A PRISON NEARBY, AND THEY CALLED ME 2 DAYS LATER...THEY WILL BE CALLING ME AGAIN THIS WEEK TO LET ME KNOW WHEN TO COME OVER FOR MY DRUG TEST...(not a problem).. GLAD THAT IS SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER HAD TO WORRY ABOUT.. I AM JUST HAPPY ABOUT EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW..EVERYTHING IS FALLING INTO PLACE FINALLY..AND WE COULDN'T BE HAPPIER...

WHAT A BORING WEEK!!!

Ok...this post is going to include some senseless rambling and very little actual information. I don't have anything to talk about because this week has been soooo boring. I have worked...worked...and worked some more. That is about all. I built half of Bill' s horseshoe pit yesterday...i love building things!! Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July holiday. I will be stuck at work all night.. it is so unfair! I am one of the only ones there who has young children and I am the one that gets stuck closing. Where is the sense in that...I also have to close Thursday night which just adds to my hatefulness towards my job. I get so tired of taking all of these jobs that I am way to smart to be working. Well I am done complaining for now. Everyone have a great 4th......

WISH I HAD PICTURES

OK...last weekend i did the coolest thing and have no way to prove it cuz stupid me forgot to put new batteries in my camera...so now this hat that i bought bill is the only thing i have to show for it...oh...and this....my ticket stub....we went to Harrah's in K.C. and saw Merle Haggard in concert....it was so cool...the man is like..what...80 years old....and still sounds awesome....my nephew called and had scored some fee tickets, and no one hesitated... me, my brother, and my other nephew took off in the car and went to Brunswick and kidnapped Bill from work and off we went..i was the DD for the evening and it stormed like a mother all the way home...but it was way worth it...Bill got so drunk...it was hilarious...we had a really good night...talk to everyone soon...

I AM BACK

ok...i know that i have been neglectful...but i am back now..time has been short lately...work and life kept getting in the way of getting everything up and going around here...so here we go..time to get back to work...here are the pics of the new house that i promised months ago...these are just a few....but i don't wanna bore everyone....so time to let everyone see how things have been...GREAT...i am so glad to be back home...well...i will write more tomorrow...later...

HERE I AM

GUESS WHAT.....I HVE HAD NO TIME... I KNOW I HAVE NEGLECTED TO KEEP EVERYONE UP ON THE PROGRESS OF MY LIFE, BUT REALLY ALL I DO IS WORK... I STILL HAVE YET TO FIND THE TIME TO GET MY INTERNET GOING, BUT I AM GOING TO GET TO IT... JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN AND SAY HI TO ALL....

I AM NOT LOST

OK...I KNOW I HAVE BEEN MISSING IN ACTION SINCE WE WERE SUPPOSE TO MOVE...FIRST OFF..MY INTERNET GOT SHUT OFF BEFORE IT WAS SUPPOSE TO AND WE HAVE YET TO GET IT BACK UP AND RUNNING IN THE NEW HOUSE....BUT VERY SOON..I PROMISE TO ALL OF YOU THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO TALK TO ....HOWDY...AND TO EVERYONE ELSE...HOPEFULLY ALL WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL VERY SOON...I AM ALSO WORKING FULL TIME AND NOT HOME DURING THE DAY, BUT ONCE WE ARE BACK ONLINE I WILL BE ON IN THE EVENINGS...I WOULD SHOW YOU SOME PICS OF THE NEW HOUSE, BUT I AM NOT ON MY COMPUTER SO IT WILL HAVE TO WAIT..HOPE EVERYONE IS GOOD, AND I HOPE TO TALK TO YOU ALL SOON.....

THE NEW HOUSE

OK EVERYBODY....HERE IS THE NEW HOUSE!!! ONCE AGAIN I FORGOT TO TAKE MY CAMERA INSIDE. I MEANT TO TAKE BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES, BUT I FORGOT. I WILL ADD SOME PICTURES OF MY AWESOME PAINTING ABILITIES IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS. THIS PICTURE REALLY IS NOT VERY GOOD, BUT IT WORKS..LOL. TYPE TO YOU ALL SOON!!!! WE WILL HOPEFULLY BE ALL MOVED IN BY APRIL 16TH. WISH US LUCK!!

OK...I KNOW I HAVE BEEN SLACKING, BUT I AM REALLY BUSY GETTING THE NEW HOUSE READY TO MOVE INTO. I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED...JUST WANTED TO STOP BY HERE AND LET EVERYBODY KNOW..I HAVEN'T FORGOT YA!!! I AM ALMOST DONE W/ MY PAINTING AND THEN I JUST GOTTA CLEAN UP. IT SHOULD BE ALL DONE BY NEXT WEEK. WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!!!!

JUST ANOTHER POEM

I wrote this poem as a creative writing assignment my senior year of high school, and ended up in the counselor's office w/ my principal and my mother later that same day. My counselor told my mother that it was a cry for help and he was shocked when my mom and I both burst out in laughter. No one has ever really gotten my writing except for my mother. I do everything in my life the hard way. I love hard, lose hard, and hurt hard. It is just who I am. When I give, I give everything I have and am. It is just my nature. So, no I am not suicidal, and no this is not a cry for help, but it is good and is also one of my favorites that I have written. So I hope you all enjoy this poem, but please know that I am a very happy and well adjusted person.

To End It All

By: Tanjua S. Waddle

Death seems like the perfect way
Just to end it all.
You say goodbye, and bid farewell,
And leave the rest to fall.

It seems no mater how I try,
I just can’t get things right.
Why can’t the one who takes us all,
Come take me tonight.

I’m sure they’ll say I just gave up,
And some may think that’s true.
But in the times of my distress,
I just don’t know what to do.

I try to do right by all,
But I always end up wrong.
I just hope when I am gone,
You’ll realize I did belong.

I tried to fit in the world around,
But I always seemed to fail.
I was merely a train in the night,
Waiting to derail.

Like two ships passing in the night,
So did I pass life.
I left it for the rest to live.
For each of you I sacrificed.

Please don’t think I left you all,
To make it on your own.
You’ll always have the memories,
Of the love I’ve never shown.

I tried to show each of you,
The love I hid away.
For those of you who never knew,
You’ll each find out someday.

You may not all see it now,
But the future will surely tell.
Just follow your heart, and live your dreams,
And never allow yourself to fail.

I can’t ask you all to forgive me,
For all I’ve said and done.
I just wanted you each to know,
That beneath, I’m only human.

You all thought I was solid as stone,
But even the largest mountain crumbles.
I tried to walk the straight and narrow,
But even the most balanced stumble.

If I could be all you need,
I’d bubble over with joy.
But since I can’t, I think it’s best,
I simply be destroyed.

I know that sounds a little harsh,
But it is best for all.
It wouldn’t be so easy for me,
If I didn’t feel so small.

I’m not needed in this world ,
For anything but to take up space.
I wish I knew another way,
To get myself out of this place.

I don’t feel like you need me here,
To complicate the simple tasks.
I guess I’ve finally decided to show,
The face beneath the mask.

I know it will be hard for you,
To go on without me here.
I simply beg you not to cry,
Don’t shed a single tear.

I guess I’ve said enough for now,
And I hope that you all see.
The only thing my death will do,
Is take each of you from me.

I'M STILL HERE

MY WONDERFUL BROTHER
OK. I know i have been slacking, but I have been really busy. Guess what! We are moving. They say that when God closes a door he opens a window. My brother called me last night and asked me if we still wanted to buy his house. Once again, I explained to him that we could not get a bank loan for the house. He has agreed to rent the house to Bill and I until we can buy it. I am soooooooooooooo happy. Not only do we get to go back home like we want to, but we finally get a HOME. I have been on cloud nine all day, even though things did not go quite as smoothly as I would hope. I met my brother at the house at 10 this morning to find 4 1/2 feet of water in the basement. Apparently, the last renters had turned the electricity off and the electric company had neglected to put it back over in my brother's name like they were suppose to, and a water pipe froze and busted. I would hate to see this month's water bill, but we got it all pumped out, and I spent all day peeling wall paper and painting. It was wonderful!! To actually be given free reign over how my house will look when I get done w/ it. My brother has told me that I can do whatever I want to it, within reason. I will be working on it every day so that we can move in a month, if at all possible. So, hooray for me! I am so happy!

ALL I WANT

OK. Here we go with the more personalized blog. Have you ever wanted something so bad, but have absolutely no way of getting it? My husband wanted one thing out of life. A loving wife and great kids. He got it. So, tell me, why my want seems so unreachable to me. I don't wanna be rich, or famous, or even skinny and beautiful. All I want is for my family to have a home that is ours. That is all. That is it. I just want to buy a house. Unfortunately, our credit history keeps us from doing this. Now, that we have good jobs, our bills are always paid, and we always have a little extra each month, no one will give us a home loan because of our PAST credit problems. I guess we went about things the wrong way. Once we got our finances on the right track, we avoided credit cards, bank accounts, and new vehicles. We have always bought vehicles that we could afford to buy out right, and we deal w/ cash, and money orders. No checking accounts. Now, because of our bad past credit, and our current no credit, I can't have what I want more than anything. I just want a house that I can make a home !

JUST BLOGGING

OK. I sit here at my computer eating my milk duds, and drinking my Mountain Dew. My house is very quiet except for the TV and the sound of the tapping keys. The girls are all three at school today, thank goodness, we have all been sick. This crazy Missouri weather has got everyone feeling ick ! Sorry, just realized I was rhyming. It is the poet in me. I find I do it in conversation too. Not necessarily rhyming, but the flow of the words changes without me even thinking about it. Well, I have been on this blog site for more than a month. I have found many interesting people that have a lot to say. I think I enjoy reading other people's writing as much as writing my own. Some days, that is all that I do, I just sit and read what everyone else is writing. I think I will start getting a little bit more personal w/ some of my blogs. Go down memory lane every once in a while. I hope this will not bore my few, but faithful readers. I think the one primary question that I am facing right now is , How Personal Do I Get? Where do you draw the line? What limits do you put on your writing when you don't know who will be reading it? These questions are the only thing that has been holding me back from putting too much of myself into this blog. I think it is time to remove the boundaries, and just be myself. So, here we go. It is time to be me.

A LITTLE ABOUT ME

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

TRIBUTE TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE POETS

Today, instead of my own writing and stupidity, I thought

I would post one of my favorite poems by someone a bit more

famous. This is the very first poem that I memorized when

I first started doing some of my own writing. How was I to

know how true to my life this great work of art would turn

out to be......

March 26, 1874-January 29, 1963

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper."--Robert Frost

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;


Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,


And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

WOW....THAT IS ALL I CAN SAY

I'm told that there is a huge rock near a gravel pit on Hwy.25 in rural Iowa. For generations, kids have painted slogans, names, and obscenities on this rock, changing its character many times. A few months back, the rock received its latest paint job, and since then it has been left completely undisturbed. It's quite an impressive sight. Be sure to scroll down and check out the multiple photos (all angles) of the rock. I thought the flag was draped over the rock, but it's not. It's actually painted on the rock too.

Here's the artist Ray "Bubba" Sorensen.

AWESOME Work, RAY...Thank you! "God Bless America"
& "OUR SOLDIERS AND VETS"

NIGHT TERRORS

My Baby’s Terror
By: Tanjua S. Waddle

A mother’s work is never done,
While daddy lies there asleep.
She wakes each night with a scream.
That’s when I know she’s had another dream.


She sits up with terror in her open eyes.
The dream is still with her, it terrifies.
I try to wake her. I do my best.
I know each night I’ll lose some rest.


The horrible things she sees in her head,
Follow her when she wakes screaming in her bed.
The terror she sees I can not know.
But I know it is awful, her face says so.


Every night it is the same old thing.
She wakes up crying and screams my name.
She points to the darkness, something is there.
She screams and she points, while her blank eyes stare .
I wish I could see, what it is that scares her so.
Will the terror in the darkness ever let her go?

My 6 year old daughter suffers from night terrors.
Her night terrors are excruciatingly painful for me, because there is nothing I can do. I have tried several different methods to get her to wake up, but nothing works. I just have to hold her and talk to her until it is over. I think the worst part of all is having her eyes open and looking right through me. She doesn't see me at all. She screams for me, and I am right there but she doesn't know. She has suffered from this condition for at least 2 years and the doctors keep telling me she will grow out of it, but even though she does not remember them, I do. I just wish there was more I could do to bring her out of it quicker. They can last anywhere from a couple of minutes to a record 32 minutes...that one was hard. So leave me a comment if you have any info or advice for me. I would love to hear from someone else who deals w/ this.

Night Terror or Nightmare?:

Nightmares occur during the dream phase of sleep known as REM sleep. Most people enter the REM stage of sleep sometime after 90 minutes of sleep. The circumstances of the nightmare will frighten the sleeper, who usually will wake up with a vivid memory of a long movie-like dream. Night terrors, on the other hand, occur during a phase of deep non-REM sleep usually within an hour after the subject goes to bed. This is also known as stage 4. During a night terror, which may last anywhere from five to twenty minutes, the person is still asleep, although the sleepers eyes may be open. When the subject does wake up, they usually have no recollection of the episode other than a sense of fear. This, however, is not always the case. Quite a few people interviewed can remember portions of the night terror, and some remember the whole thing.

Night Terrors Symptoms:

Sudden awakening from sleep, persistent fear or terror that occurs at night, screaming, sweating, confusion, rapid heart rate, inability to explain what happened, usually no recall of "bad dreams" or nightmares, may have a vague sense of frightening images. Many people see spiders, snakes, animals or people in the room, are unable to fully awake, difficult to comfort, with no memory of the event on awakening the next day.

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY GILBERT GOTTFRIED"
Birthday: February 28, 1955
Birth Place: Brooklyn, NY
Siblings: Youngest out of three
Starring in:
I love the 80s Strikes Back(2003)
Hollywood Squares (2002)
Cyberchase- Digit (2002)
House of Mouse- Iago (2001)
Hollywood Squares(2002)
USA Up All Night- Host (1986)
Thicke of the Night(1983)
Saturday Night Live(1975)
Comedy Central Presents

At the young age of 15, Gottfried began doing stand-up at open mike nights in New York City and, after a few short years, became known around town as "the comedian's comedian." After spending several years conquering the art of stand-up comedy, producers of the NBC late night comedy show Saturday Night Live became aware of Gottfried and, in 1980, hired him as a cast member. It wasn't until a few years later when his true notoriety would begin when MTV hired him for a series of improvised and hilarious promos for the newly formed channel. This led to several television appearances on "The Cosby Show" and "Late Night with David Letterman."
Gottfried’s work in television soon led to roles in film. Most memorable was his improvised scene as business manager Sidney Bernstein in the hit sequel "Beverly Hills Cop II," for which the New York Daily News said that “Gilbert Gottfried steals the picture with a single scene.” He appeared in such movies as "Problem Child," "Problem Child II," "Look Who's Talking II" and "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane." He was also the host of the very popular late night movie series "USA Up All Night."
After his performance as the wise ass parrot, IAGO, in the Disney classic "Aladdin," Gottfried became one of the most sought after voice over talents. His signature voice can be heard in several commercials, cartoons and movies, including the frustrated duck in the AFLAC Insurance commercials.
So here is to one of my favorite comedians. I remember watching him in several different movies and television shows. I especially remember him for his USA Up All Night. I have been a night owl most of my life and night time television has always been one of my close friends..HEHEHE
For more information and fun facts on this infamous comedian you can check out the following sites:

www.gilbertgottfried.com/index.html
or
www.geocities.com/amazing_gil/

A LITTLE LAUGHTER GOES A LONG WAY

"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it."

Bill Cosby

This is one of my favorite quotes and one that I attempt to live my life by. When I was in school I was pretty much the "class clown". I had a lot of different things going on in my life, and I found that by making other people laugh I could escape my own pain even if just for a little while. I guess that it just kinda stuck after a while. As some of my readers know, I created this blog as a place to find my voice. I know who I used to be, I know who wanna be, but I can't seem to find who I am right now. I am a mother. I am a wife. Other than that, I am a little lost. I am really comfortable being myself around my husband and kids, and there is never a shortage of laughter around our house. For some reason though, I have trouble letting that side of myself out when I am around other people. This, sometimes, makes me come across as insecure which makes it difficult to make new friends. I spent my whole life in a very small rural community in central Missouri, and never ever had a shortage of friends. These are the people that I am still most comfortable around. Maybe this is why I have had a hard time adjusting to living where I am now. I wanna go home. Bill has told me that I can look for a house back home, and the kids are very excited about going back to where all of our family is. So, as soon as it is financially possible, I will be going home. Sorry, got off the subject a little. I guess what I was saying is this......If by bringing laughter to some other person, you bring some peace of mind to yourself, then you win. If you touch just one person with your humor, and can bring a smile to another's face, then you will go far in this life. So, in conclusion, don't ever be afraid to be yourself no matter how goofy that self may be.

GRANDPA, TELL ME 'BOUT THE GOOD OL' DAYS

Alzheimer's disease is a progressive disease that damages nerve cells (neurons) in parts of the brain involved in memory, learning, language, and reasoning. As the disease progresses, communication among the neurons breaks down. In early stages, short-term memory begins to fail. Over time, functions such as long-term memory, language, and judgment decline. Alzheimer's disease is the most common cause of dementia in older adults. Dementia is a loss of mental functions--such as thinking, memory, and reasoning--that is severe enough to interfere with a person's daily functioning.
This is the textbook definition of what Alzheimer's disease is, but I have decided to post a more personal definition. My grandfather currently suffers from this disease, and as a CNA I deal w/ other people w/ the same illness on a daily basis. To me, Alzheimer's is best defined as....the destroyer of families, and the only disease known that causes more pain to the people around it than to the person who has it. I recently wrote a poem about my grandfather's condition, and although it is not completely accurate due to artistic creativity, it is the basis of what most families deal with everyday of this disease. This poem was published by my grandfather's nursing home, and again by the National Alzheimer's Association. I hope my readers enjoy !!

This Place I Don't Know

By: Tanjua S. Waddle

Looking through pale blue eyes, the sparkle has gone dim.

Who am I? When am I? Where is this place I am in?

Later today I will sit and I'll dine,

and realize I'm old and haven't much time.

Just for right now, I'm a man of twenty-three.

I'm fighting the war and long to be free.

What am I doing here? What is this place?

I look in the mirror and don't know the face.

People all around me, with smiles and hellos.

There are nice people here, in this place I don't know.

My days are confusing, one moment to the next,

but the people here are kind and treat me with respect.

They say this is my home now, but I can not comprehend.

The people here take care of me, they want to be my friends.

I wander all the hallways looking all around,

but the home that I remember is nowhere to be found.

Sure I have my days when things seem very clear,

but mostly I just spend my days holding back the tears.

Although they treat me good here, I still don't know what's real.

I miss my wife and my kids, they should be with me still.

I know my loved one's visit, more often than I recall.

It's not the same as having them here, to catch me if I fall.

My things are all around me, but it's not the same.

I stay here in this place called "home", and I know they're not to blame.

I'm sure that it was hard for them, to bring me here to stay.

I know they miss me. I miss them, each and every day.

My wife, she comes here daily. My children twice a week.

Why must I repeat myself, when I try to speak.

I see them holding back their tears, and it hurts me so.

I know that it is heartbreaking, when they have to go.

There are days when I don't know them, and I get real mad.

These are the days that hurt the most, and leave me feeling sad.

I sit and remember days gone by, though it seems like it was today.

Why is my mind playing tricks on me? Help me I am afraid.

My days here are not bad it's true.

There are a lot of things that I can do.

There is music and games, and lots of fine folks.

The nurses all smile and tell us all jokes.

My family they call me, when they can not make it here.

I try and I try to keep my mind clear.

I hope that they realize, I love them all so.

They did what they had to, they love me I know.

I don't blame them a bit, it must have been hard.

They'll always be here for me, they'll never go far.

I miss them so much, but this is where I must be.

I needed more than they could give me, this "home" is what I need.

Currently, about 4.5 million Americans suffer from Alzheimer's disease, and about 22,000 people die from Alzheimer's disease every year. The Alzheimer's Association estimates that one in 10 people over age 65 and nearly half of people over 85 have Alzheimer's disease. The number of Americans with Alzheimer's disease is expected to increase to 14 million by 2050, unless a cure or preventive measure can be found. The worst part about this disease is that sometimes it attacks otherwise healthy individuals (like my grandpa). His mind is gone, but his body is healthy. This seems, very much, like a cruel joke. For more information......

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/health/brain/alzheimers/alz.about.htm

HOW DO WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN ???

- Reported cases of child sexual abuse reached epidemic proportions, with a reported 322 percent increase from 1980 to 1990.
-278 percent increase from 1990 to 2000
-150 million girls and 73 million boys under 18 experienced forced sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual violence during 2006.

Rate of child abuse by race:
- White = 51%
- African American = 25%
- Hispanic = 15%
- American Indian/Alaska Natives = 2% - Asian/Pacific Islanders = 1%

I ran across these statistics today while I was surfing the Internet. I found them to be very disturbing. At first, I was not sure if this topic was appropriate for me to blog about, but then I reconsidered. This issue is out there. It is real and it happens every day. If you are wondering what prompted this blog, I will tell you. There is a new commercial on TV that is for a sexual abuse intervention group. It starts out by saying....1 in 9 boys, and 1 in 4 girls will be a victim of sexual abuse before the age of 14. This prompted me to wonder......... " HOW DO WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN?". It also claims that a child is more likely to be the victim of abuse than to be involved in an automobile accident. These statistics are staggering, if not just a little scary. The worst part of these statistics, is that it only reflects reported incidents. How many more children are out there hurting that no one knows about? I myself was a victim when I was younger, but this was long ago and has been worked out and put behind me. I will not pretend that it was not hard, and that it did not affect me, but I got through it and moved on. I would just hope that all parents in this busy world of today, would slow down long enough to think about who they have their children around. In a time of babysitter shortages and after-school activities, parents need to take the time to get to know the people their children spend time with. Do not be afraid to talk to your children. Teach them about good touching and bad touching, and make sure that your children know that they can trust you and talk to you about anything. Fear of punishment and being blamed are the two top reasons why abuse goes unreported. Children also feel that the abuse is in some way their fault. These feelings of guilt keep these statistics much lower than they probably are in reality. Be open w/ your children and make sure they know you are there for them unconditionally. For more information on this topic see the following website....

www.prevent-abuse-now.com

HOLY SHIT !! IS THIS MY HOUSE ??

Ladies and gentleman, I think she finally got it. Tonight was the first time in two years that I got to come home from work to a clean house. I sat down and had a long talk w/ my babysitter today, and I think I finally got through. Bill and I put up this big ass poster board labeled NEW RULES. I explained each one and what I expected from her and the kids. I will share my rules w/ you. It is nothing too difficult.

1. NO PLAYSTATION (that is all she used to do)
2. Kids will be cleaned up and in PAJAMA's before going to bed (the pajama thing is a serious pet peeve of mine...i don't like finding my kids in clothes while they are sleeping.)
3. Bedrooms will be picked up before bedtime.
4. CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF (the kids are not your slaves)
5. Please feed my children REAL food.
6. Include EVERYONE in activities.

*BILL AND I WILL NO LONGER PAY YOU FOR DOING NOTHING !!!!!!

So, this is all I ask of my babysitter. Hopefully, tonight was not a one time deal. I don't expect any miracles, I just have to know that when I am not home, that my kids are SAFE and well taken care of. I have to know that my kids are not eating junk and doing unsafe activities ....(like the time they rode the mattress down the stairs and put a hole in my wall).

I don't expect her to be me, but my rules should always apply !!!! I think the worst part about this whole deal is that my babysitter, who is a very shy and loving girl, has a mother who takes all of her babysitting money to pay her bills because she won't go get a job. So sometimes her mom will make her call me and ask for more money. Her mother and I have had it out over this numerous times, but I am not gonna punish the child for the ways of her mother. I hope this new side of her remains, and then maybe I can put my mind at ease. I just want my kids to be well taken care of when I can't be here. That is all for NOW !!!!

O... TO BE 18

• Being 17-18 Means . .
  "Where Am I Going and Where Have I Been?"
  


• You personally coin the expression Seize the Day.
  


• At last you are an adult. (Aren't you?)
  


• This is your time to be respected by one and all.
  


• Sex, sex, sex, sex . . . SEX! (SEX!)
  


• You can afford to be a little nostalgic about your childhood, defined as the period of your life that ended roughly yesterday but also seems like a hundred years ago.
  


• You are divided between feelings of total comfort around school and excruciating restlessness.
  


• You suffer a most un-Zenlike burning desire to leave an impression. You want to make yourself a few memories, and you want to be remembered.
  


• Your relationships are even more important, painful, and rewarding.
  


• What happened to your independent, accomplished, strong-willed, clear-eyed parents?! Now they start to be very clingy. (What time are you coming home? Can I look at your application? Why do you need to go out on a weeknight? You wearing socks or not? How come you can't go to a movie with us?)
  


• Is college for me? If so, where? If not, why not? And if not, then what?
  


• If you're college bound, a special bonus reward for you: incalculable first-semester stress in classes and throughout the entire application ordeal.
  


• My classmates are my world! And everything changes come June!
  


• You imagine that adults can be your friends. They're certainly your equals. (Can we stay in touch after graduation?)
  


• Time! There just isn't enough.
  


• Oops. Blip on the screen. Senioritis. (What, me worry?)
  


• Sometimes, in the middle of an afternoon class, you study watermarks on the ceiling and think, Why won't this year ever end?
  


• Oh, no, senior year is over already . . . How did that happen? Where did high school go?


• What did I miss? What didn't I miss?

These are comments found on http://www.familyeducation.com/ and are only a small portion of what you feel on the day that you become an "adult". Today is my little sisters birthday. She is 18 as of today, and soon to be on her way to finding her own life. I remember 18. Unfortunately it was not as happy of a time for me as it is for her. RosaLee is smart, very pretty, and has a good head on her shoulders as to where she is and where she wants to go. She has almost made it. If she can just go these next few months w/ out screwing up, she will be out of our hometown and away from the rapidly declining rural community that we call home. I, on the other hand, spent my senior year wondering how I was going to raise a baby on my own, and pissed off over the full college scholarship I had just flushed down the toilet because I was in "love". These are some of the hard realities that a lot of today's youth face. Where am I going? What will I do?

*I am 29 years old, and I still don't know the answers to these questions. I know that I am a mother and a wife, and I have a CNA license and enjoy taking care of the elderly, but I also know that I would like to become a nurse, but that it is not a financially smart move at this juncture in my life. Maybe when the kids get older. It seems that this is my answer to just about everything that I wanna do, but what I fail to realize is.....that as the kids get older, so do I.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO BRITNEY?????

WE REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL.
BRITNEY WAS A ROLE MODEL FOR ALL YOUNG GIRLS.

THIS VERY TALENTED YOUNG LADY HAS BECOME
WHAT WE FEAR FOR ALL CELEBRITIES.

MALIBU, Calif. Feb 21, 2007 — Britney Spears left a live-in rehabilitation facility early Wednesday, just hours after checking in, according to reports. It was the second time in a week that Spears entered a rehab facility and checked out within hours.---->>>


Someone please tell me what kind of role model this is for 2 small children. Popping in and out of rehab centers is not a smart move for someone involved in a child custody battle. It is known that Federline intends to ask the court for support and sole custody of Jayden James, 5 months, and Sean Preston, 17 months. After Spears moved to end their two-year marriage in November, a temporary order issued Feb. 1 granted joint custody through this month. I just wish she could get her head on straight, her career on track, and do what she needs to do for those 2 babies. Britney, what happened to you.:????

LOOKING BACK

For anyone out there who doesn't know, I have a 10 yr. old daughter that I had just a few short months after graduating high school. Her biological father has never been a part of her life. Don't get the wrong idea, he knows all about her. He simply CHOOSES not to be a part of her growing up. A good friend of mine, who knew both of us back in the day, got to talking to me the other night online about everything I went through by being a single, teen mother. While we were talking, my pen started writing. This happens very often. Sometimes, I can be doing just about anything and a new poem will start spewing. So for anyone out there who has also found themselves alone w/ a baby and a lost love, the following poem is for you. Hope you enjoy it...

SHATTERED

by: Tanjua S. Waddle

Shattered and falling to the floor.

My heart breaks into a million splinters.

To think back on that youthful summer,

and forget the pain of that winter.

A summer filled w/ all your love,

your kisses and warm embrace.

A winter filled w/ emptiness and sorrow,

and this hard truth that I must face.

When you were here for me, all was well.

You held me close inside your heart.

Then winter came and you were lost,

and the cold winter breeze kept us apart.

Together we created this child.

Now we are apart, and I raise her alone.

You were too weak to stake your claim,

so now I raise her on my own.

She has never seen you smile at her.

Never heard the voice I know so well.

She is the mirror image of the face I loved.

What her life will be, only time will tell.

Shattered and falling to the floor.

My heart breaks into a million splinters.

To think back on that youthful summer,

and forget the pain of that winter.

THE 320 LB. WOMAN

SOMEONE TO

LOOK UP TO!!!!!!

Not what you were expecting was it???? The tallest and biggest woman in the world lives in Holland. She is 7'4" and weighs 320 pounds. What a relief !!!! Now we ALL know.... we aren't overweight, just tooooooo short!!!! That is what I've been saying for years !!!!!!!!!!!!!

BACK IN THE DAY

I have been giving a lot of thought lately to old friends. Everyone remembers those few friends that each of you had when you were younger. Those friends that you promised you would never lose touch with no matter where life took you. Unfortunately, few people can actually keep this promise. Friendships that you lose throughout the years, not due to anything said or done, but simply due to life. Have you ever noticed how often your life gets in the way of what you want to do. I have had several good friends in my 29 years, but only a few that I still have contact with. This is usually the case. How many people out there can honestly say that they still have the friends that have meant the most to them. Probably not many. I know that I can't. Now, a lot of friends have come and gone throughout the years, but few still remain. As life changes, so does what we expect out of our friends. We grow older, we get married, we have kids, and everything changes. This is life. So, if by chance, you find yourself thinking about that one person from your past that you miss the most. My advice to you, is look them up. Call them on the phone. Let them know you still think about them. Sometimes, it takes very little effort to renew a friendship. Good Luck!!!!!

WHO SHARED MY DAY????

I got this idea from my friend jestertunes blog. So thank you Paul for being as cool as you are. I just thought it would be cool to look and see who I share a birthday w/ also. So all of the following people share the same birthday w/ me....Feb. 16th....unfortunately my shared birthdays are not as neat as jestertunes, but it is still cool to know....

JOHN McENROE

SONNY BONO

EDGAR BERGEN

ICE - T

Well there are a few that I could find. It is always cool to know others out there celebrate their birthday on the same day as you. If you want to know who shares your birthday you can try looking for it at.... www.famousbirthdays.com Enjoy your week and come back and read me soon......LOL

HAPPY SUNDAY

Well the weekend is almost over. Today is Sunday and I plan on spending the whole day doing absolutely nothing. This weeeks weekend update is as follows. Friday, of course, we had bowling league. I did really bad this week. It was awful. Does anyone else know what it is like to really enjoy something, but no matter how hard you try at it, you just can't get good at it. That is how it is for me when we bowl. Friday, of course, was my birthday so we stayed after league w/ some good friends of ours and did the moonlight glow bowl. That was really fun and I did much better than I had done during league, but that is usually how it goes. The weather turned pretty bad, so Bill and I had to stay in Brookfield overnight. We got another 5 inches of snow. Saturday morning we got up and had breakfast with Bill's dad and then headed home. We were suppose to go to a wedding Saturday, but because of the roads we decided we should just stay in Brunswick. So, Bill and I went down to the bar where I work and entered the pool tournament. Neither one of us placed, but we had a great time. Saturday night was karaoke, which is one of my all-time favorite things. I usually get asked to sing several of my favorite songs by customers that come in the bar all the time and hear me walking around singing. I love to sing. I don't think I am very good, but everyone at the bar disagrees w/ me. So, I sing for them. I got pretty drunk Saturday night, and had a ball. Later in the night wasn't so good. One of my friends showed up at the bar damn near hysterical. She had been at the house of some of Bill and I's ex-friends, and the husband had tried to force himself on her while she was passed out in the living room. Then, the wife had come in there and tried to beat the shit out of her for screaming. Needless to say, I sat there with her for a very long time while we waited on her parents and the police. I will update everyone later as things occur. So, that was our weekend in a nut shell. Now, I can move on to a more interesting blog. As for this one, I am finished w/ it. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

BABYSITTER DRAMA

Well today is here...just barely. I sit here at 3 am., I just got home from work. Today is my birthday. I am 29 today..whoopee. I don't have a whole lot to say this morning, except a short bitch session about baby sitters. I have 3 little girls, and my husband and I are active in a lot of different things. We are gone from home on an average of 3 nights a week. Does anyone else have the same problem I am about to describe? I spend all day at home, while my kids are at school, and I usually keep a pretty clean house. Then, on the nights Bill and I are gone, I pay someone to come in and mess up my house. I know that sounds crazy, but it is true. I have 2 girls that babysit for me on a regular basis and neither one of them can seem to get it right. Tonight before I went to work, and Bill went to pool league, Bill asked the girls to surprise me for my birthday and make sure the house was all cleaned up. Needless to say, this was not the case when I walked in the door. I feel as though I am paying for another kid to come to my house, eat my food, and watch my TV. This has been an on-going problem for the 2 years we have lived here. Parents are to quick to give their kids hand outs. No one wants to EARN their money anymore. I know that when I was younger, I babysat until I was old enough to get a real job. Then I maintained a 20-40 hr. work week on top of school. I kept my grades high, and I always had plenty of my own money. When I was babysitting, the TV never came on until all the kids were in bed and the house was cleaned up and dishes done. I am a strong believer in " the one who cooks it, cleans it". Apparently, I am the only one. I have to have a baby sitter, but I am so tired of coming home to a messy house. AAAAHHHH!!! It is very frustrating. So, I guess what I am saying is....what has happened to today's youth? Why can't they understand that they have to EARN their pay just like everyone else. Bill and I pay really well, but we get nothing in return. I miss the old days. Family is very important to us, and we love our girls to death. I just have to know that when I leave my house, my kids are in the best possible hands, and that what I say....goes. I guess that's it for now. Goodnight everyone.

THE WORDS WILL FLOW.....MAYBE

...As of right this moment I have no idea what I want to write about today. Today is my sister's birthday, so I think I will write about sisters. I have 2 just in case anyone is interested. I also have 6 brothers. This number includes halves and step. The sister in question today is my only full sibling. Her birthday is February 15th and she is 5 years older than me. So happy 34th birthday Jenn. My birthday is tomorrow. Just so everyone knows, I will be 29 years old and I am wondering where all the years went. I know for some of you this may sound young, but I have lived a long life in a few short years and I have not always been the best person I can be. OK.. I got off the subject a little. I will save that for a later date. So, what can I say about sisters. Oh..by the way, I also have a younger sister that will be 18 next week. We are all really spaced apart. So, anyway, sisters can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Sometimes they can even be both at the same time. My sisters and I have had our differences over the years, but we still keep in touch and talk all the time. My older sister and I have had a lot of issues over the years, but we both know that we will always be there for each other which is the way it should be. My sister has not always agreed w/ the choices I have made in my life, but she has still supported me in them. My younger sister on the other hand has always been more like my kid than my sister. I was 11 when she was born and I took care of her a lot while our mom worked. I always found it hard to be non-biased when she tries to talk to me about stuff, and it is really hard not to tell mom when I know she has done something she shouldn't. I have to remember that she should be able to trust me. Besides, mom's are not suppose to know everything. I know I got away w/ plenty. So in conclusion, sisters are there for you like the US postal service the only difference is that sisters work holidays to....So make sure, after reading this, you call up your sister and tell her you love her. No matter who comes and goes in your life, your siblings are forever and they will always be there for you when you need them..

MANY TALENTED PEOPLE

My sister sent me a couple of e-mails over the last couple of days that i simply feel the need to share. I have no doubt in my mind that this world is full of extremely gifted and talented people, some of them you just don't hear about very often...so I am not going to say much in this blog, I will simply let the following pictures speak for themselves. I hope everyone finds these as cool as I do......This just goes way beyond normal talent... and I absolutely love it..!!!!

I am totally loving this horse. The detail is incredible, and I can't begin to imagine the time it took.

The next to pictures are of an artist that she sent me....I will also let these speak for themselves.

Before.......And After..........By the way..it is still a flat wall.

So to all of you out there w/ some extreme talent, I take my hat off to you. For the rest of you who are all talented in your own way, share what you do best and never fear not being great, because the competition is extreme and as long as you enjoy it....it is worth the time you put in it.