Welcome to technology

Well today i will start this mobile blog! Really don't know if anyone is still reading this but have had lots going on. Today ... my oldest daughter is trying out for coquettes ... i am sooo proud of her for trying something new!
I have had alot going on myself. I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia ... and i have to say ... it SUCKS!  This constant pain is already getting old! Everytime i move i sound like breaking glass and my muscles hurt so bad most days i just wanna lay in a ball and cry. Well i guess life goes on. I have to stay strong a d keep on smiling. My family depends on me.
Krissy and Lori are both good .... just everyday life. Bill is wanting to change jobs but can't seem to make a decision ... change is so hard for him! 
Well guess that's all for today. Hope everyone is well!

Busy Busy Week

Ok... It has definitely been one of those weeks !!!! My best friend has been in the hospital for 9 days and I have had her 3 boys for the last 5 days. I never thought it was possible to lose your mind so quickly, but I am well on my way. So, add her 3 boys to my 3 girls and you get 6 kids in a house that carries sound very well. I have been trying to keep up with homework, housework, and everything else, but I think I am ready for them to go home tomorrow. I love being able to help her out, but I am ready for things to go back to normal. I have a feeling that I am definitely going to have to get my drunk on this weekend. I haven't done that for a long time and I think that I have most certainly earned it. Wish me luck and pray that I make it through one more night. I am so glad that she pulled through ok with her surgery. She gave us all quite a scare. I do hope that this put a few things into perspective for her though and that she learns to live life a little fuller rather than staying cooped up in her house 24/7.

Long Time No Talk

Wow... So much has been going on since the last time I

posted on my Blog. I am not really sure where to begin. I can't believe I have neglected this for 2 years! I will give the short version to save you all from utter and complete boredom. In the last 2 years I continued my employment with the Missouri Department of Corrections. I recently resigned my position there in November of 2009, following an assault by 2 offenders. I was not hurt real bad, but it was enough to shake up my husband. They did not do me right when it happened. I was offered no time off, was not allowed to go out to the hospital due to lack of staffing, and was denied a temporary leave to decide what I wanted to do. To make matters worse, they are now fighting my unemployment.

Something positive has managed to blossom out of all of this though. I am now attending college full time online and working towards an Associate of Science degree in Graphic Design. I am very excited about the path that I have chosen. Although it has been 14 years since I graduated high school, I face each new assignment with optomism and determination. I absolutely love my design class and I am learning a lot and having a great time doing it.

Well, I hope that brings everyone up to speed a bit! The kids are all doing great, and Bill is still Bill. LOL We are just living life and trying to enjoy it as we go !!!

VEGAS BOUND...VEGAS BACK

OK....NOW I HAVE BEEN TO VEGAS....IT WAS OK... BUT NOT AS GREAT AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE... I HAD FUN...BUT AM VERY TIRED....HOOVER DAM WAS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE WHOLE TRIP.... I WOULD DO IT AGAIN...BUT NOT FOR A WHILE AND ONLY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS....THE SCENERY WAS GREAT SO I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE....

WORK ... WORK....WORK

HAVE YOU EVER HAD ONE OF THOSE JOBS THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE NEVER HOME.... I NEVER REALIZED HOW MUCH MY LIFE AT HOME RESEMBLED MY NEW JOB AT THE PRISON... BASICALLY THEY ARE THE SAME...YOU HAVE TO BE FAIR, FIRM, AND CONSISTANT....YOU GET BACK TALK ALL THE TIME... YOU HAVE PEOPLE DOING STUPID THINGS THAT GET THEM IN TROUBLE....AND THE CONSEQUENCES CAN RANGE FROM NON-EXISTANT TO TIME OUT....LOL

I AM REALLY ENJOYING MY JOB....PEOPLE ALWAYS LOOK AT ME FUNNY WHEN I SAY THAT CUZ THEY WONDER HOW I CAN ENJOY BEING AROUND CRIMINALS 8 HOURS A DAY... THE TRUTH IS THAT IT IS BASICALLY LIKE BEING OUT ON THE STREETS...BECAUSE , AFTER ALL, DO WE EVER TRULY KNOW THE PEOPLE THAT WE MEET EVERYDAY. WE DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE AT HOME WITH THEIR OWN PEOPLE , AND I DON'T WANNA KNOW... JUST LIKE I DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT THE OFFENDERS AT WORK ARE IN FOR... AS LONG AS I TREAT THEM ALL THE SAME, I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT.....AND NOW .....SOME ON THE JOB HUMOR......

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE YOU COME ACROSS HAVING TO WORK WITH SOMEONE THAT YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.....I HAVE MET PLENTY OF THESE AT THE PRISON....SO SOMETIMES WHEN I GET BORED I TRY TO FIND THE HUMOR IN THOSE AROUND ME.....THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE SOME OF THIS.....

WORKING WITH LENT
ON THIS GOD FORSAKEN HILL
IS A FAIT WORSE THAN DEATH
FROM WHICH YOU CAN'T HEAL

JACKING WITH HIS RADIO
REARRANGING HIS BELT
TALKING ABOUT GIANT COOKIES
AND HOW VIETNAM FELT(he's only in his 20's)

BUMMING ON MY CIGARETTES
EATIN ALL MY FOOD
CAN I HAVE ONE OF YOUR SODA'S?
I'M SO BROKE....BOODY - HOO

IF ONLY I HAD THE WORDS
TO DESCRIBE WORKING WITH LENT
OTHERS HAVE HAD THE EXPERIENCE
AND NOW KNOW WHAT I MEANT

I THOUGHT PERHAPS IT WAS ME
MAYBE I AM THE BITCH
BUT NO THAT'S NOT IT
I'M AT THE END OF MY WITS

ALL THE CRAZY VOICES
THE ENDLESS RAMBLING OF THOUGHTS
WON'T SOMEONE NORMAL CALL ME
I CAN FEEL MY BRAIN ROT

IS IT TIME TO GO HOME YET?
I KNOW THAT IT'S BEEN HOURS!
SHIT ! IT'S ONLY MIDNIGHT
I DON'T HAVE SUPER POWERS

I CAN'T STOP A SPEEDING BULLET
I'M NOT FASTER THAN A TRAIN
I CAN'T TAKE 8 HOURS OF NONSENSE
I JUST MIGHT GO INSANE

7:00 IS A LITTLE CLOSER
I MIGHT MAKE IT OUT ALIVE
TIME MUST HAVE GONE BY NOW
SHIT ! IT'S ONLY TWELVE O' FIVE

Almost Done

ok...here i am...i am almost done with all of my basic training....don't i look spiffy in my uniform...just thought i would holler at everyone and let you know that i am still alive...hope everyone is doing good and enjoying life...talk to everyone soon..

JUST ANOTHER POEM FOR YOU

Time Alone

--------------

My head hurts,
Please make it go away.
My heart is breaking,
I just can’t stand the pain.

The feeling of emptiness,
Is with me everyday.
When will this pain,
Start to fade away?

I need some time off.
I need some time alone.
Will you be okay,
If I leave you on your own?

I need to get away,
To redefine who I am.
I don’t remember anymore,
And no one gives a damn.

I do ! I care !
I miss me everyday.
I just need to be free.
I need to get away.

LOTS BEEN HAPPENING...

OK..THERE HAS BEEN A LOT GOING ON SINCE I LAST POSTED...BILL AND I ATTENDED A WEDDING THAT WAS WAY OVER DUE....

THE GIRLS GOT A NEW POOL THAT THEY ABSOLUTELY LOVE.....

THEY HAVEN'T BEEN OUT OF IT FOR 3 DAYS....

THE GIRLS ARE ALL GOOD...CRAZY AS EVER....AND TWICE AS ROTTEN AS EVER, BUT THEY ARE HAVING A GREAT SUMMER....THEY ARE READY TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL NEXT MONTH...BILL AND I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BIG THEY ARE GETTING...STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE OLD...

AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, I BELIEVE I HAVE A NEW JOB COMING UP... I TOOK MY WRITTEN TEST TO WORK AS A CORRECTIONS OFFICER AT A PRISON NEARBY, AND THEY CALLED ME 2 DAYS LATER...THEY WILL BE CALLING ME AGAIN THIS WEEK TO LET ME KNOW WHEN TO COME OVER FOR MY DRUG TEST...(not a problem).. GLAD THAT IS SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER HAD TO WORRY ABOUT.. I AM JUST HAPPY ABOUT EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW..EVERYTHING IS FALLING INTO PLACE FINALLY..AND WE COULDN'T BE HAPPIER...

WHAT A BORING WEEK!!!

Ok...this post is going to include some senseless rambling and very little actual information. I don't have anything to talk about because this week has been soooo boring. I have worked...worked...and worked some more. That is about all. I built half of Bill' s horseshoe pit yesterday...i love building things!! Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July holiday. I will be stuck at work all night.. it is so unfair! I am one of the only ones there who has young children and I am the one that gets stuck closing. Where is the sense in that...I also have to close Thursday night which just adds to my hatefulness towards my job. I get so tired of taking all of these jobs that I am way to smart to be working. Well I am done complaining for now. Everyone have a great 4th......

WISH I HAD PICTURES

OK...last weekend i did the coolest thing and have no way to prove it cuz stupid me forgot to put new batteries in my camera...so now this hat that i bought bill is the only thing i have to show for it...oh...and this....my ticket stub....we went to Harrah's in K.C. and saw Merle Haggard in concert....it was so cool...the man is like..what...80 years old....and still sounds awesome....my nephew called and had scored some fee tickets, and no one hesitated... me, my brother, and my other nephew took off in the car and went to Brunswick and kidnapped Bill from work and off we went..i was the DD for the evening and it stormed like a mother all the way home...but it was way worth it...Bill got so drunk...it was hilarious...we had a really good night...talk to everyone soon...

I AM BACK

ok...i know that i have been neglectful...but i am back now..time has been short lately...work and life kept getting in the way of getting everything up and going around here...so here we go..time to get back to work...here are the pics of the new house that i promised months ago...these are just a few....but i don't wanna bore everyone....so time to let everyone see how things have been...GREAT...i am so glad to be back home...well...i will write more tomorrow...later...

HERE I AM

GUESS WHAT.....I HVE HAD NO TIME... I KNOW I HAVE NEGLECTED TO KEEP EVERYONE UP ON THE PROGRESS OF MY LIFE, BUT REALLY ALL I DO IS WORK... I STILL HAVE YET TO FIND THE TIME TO GET MY INTERNET GOING, BUT I AM GOING TO GET TO IT... JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN AND SAY HI TO ALL....

I AM NOT LOST

OK...I KNOW I HAVE BEEN MISSING IN ACTION SINCE WE WERE SUPPOSE TO MOVE...FIRST OFF..MY INTERNET GOT SHUT OFF BEFORE IT WAS SUPPOSE TO AND WE HAVE YET TO GET IT BACK UP AND RUNNING IN THE NEW HOUSE....BUT VERY SOON..I PROMISE TO ALL OF YOU THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO TALK TO ....HOWDY...AND TO EVERYONE ELSE...HOPEFULLY ALL WILL BE BACK TO NORMAL VERY SOON...I AM ALSO WORKING FULL TIME AND NOT HOME DURING THE DAY, BUT ONCE WE ARE BACK ONLINE I WILL BE ON IN THE EVENINGS...I WOULD SHOW YOU SOME PICS OF THE NEW HOUSE, BUT I AM NOT ON MY COMPUTER SO IT WILL HAVE TO WAIT..HOPE EVERYONE IS GOOD, AND I HOPE TO TALK TO YOU ALL SOON.....

THE NEW HOUSE

OK EVERYBODY....HERE IS THE NEW HOUSE!!! ONCE AGAIN I FORGOT TO TAKE MY CAMERA INSIDE. I MEANT TO TAKE BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES, BUT I FORGOT. I WILL ADD SOME PICTURES OF MY AWESOME PAINTING ABILITIES IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS. THIS PICTURE REALLY IS NOT VERY GOOD, BUT IT WORKS..LOL. TYPE TO YOU ALL SOON!!!! WE WILL HOPEFULLY BE ALL MOVED IN BY APRIL 16TH. WISH US LUCK!!

OK...I KNOW I HAVE BEEN SLACKING, BUT I AM REALLY BUSY GETTING THE NEW HOUSE READY TO MOVE INTO. I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED...JUST WANTED TO STOP BY HERE AND LET EVERYBODY KNOW..I HAVEN'T FORGOT YA!!! I AM ALMOST DONE W/ MY PAINTING AND THEN I JUST GOTTA CLEAN UP. IT SHOULD BE ALL DONE BY NEXT WEEK. WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!!!!

JUST ANOTHER POEM

I wrote this poem as a creative writing assignment my senior year of high school, and ended up in the counselor's office w/ my principal and my mother later that same day. My counselor told my mother that it was a cry for help and he was shocked when my mom and I both burst out in laughter. No one has ever really gotten my writing except for my mother. I do everything in my life the hard way. I love hard, lose hard, and hurt hard. It is just who I am. When I give, I give everything I have and am. It is just my nature. So, no I am not suicidal, and no this is not a cry for help, but it is good and is also one of my favorites that I have written. So I hope you all enjoy this poem, but please know that I am a very happy and well adjusted person.

To End It All

By: Tanjua S. Waddle

Death seems like the perfect way
Just to end it all.
You say goodbye, and bid farewell,
And leave the rest to fall.

It seems no mater how I try,
I just can’t get things right.
Why can’t the one who takes us all,
Come take me tonight.

I’m sure they’ll say I just gave up,
And some may think that’s true.
But in the times of my distress,
I just don’t know what to do.

I try to do right by all,
But I always end up wrong.
I just hope when I am gone,
You’ll realize I did belong.

I tried to fit in the world around,
But I always seemed to fail.
I was merely a train in the night,
Waiting to derail.

Like two ships passing in the night,
So did I pass life.
I left it for the rest to live.
For each of you I sacrificed.

Please don’t think I left you all,
To make it on your own.
You’ll always have the memories,
Of the love I’ve never shown.

I tried to show each of you,
The love I hid away.
For those of you who never knew,
You’ll each find out someday.

You may not all see it now,
But the future will surely tell.
Just follow your heart, and live your dreams,
And never allow yourself to fail.

I can’t ask you all to forgive me,
For all I’ve said and done.
I just wanted you each to know,
That beneath, I’m only human.

You all thought I was solid as stone,
But even the largest mountain crumbles.
I tried to walk the straight and narrow,
But even the most balanced stumble.

If I could be all you need,
I’d bubble over with joy.
But since I can’t, I think it’s best,
I simply be destroyed.

I know that sounds a little harsh,
But it is best for all.
It wouldn’t be so easy for me,
If I didn’t feel so small.

I’m not needed in this world ,
For anything but to take up space.
I wish I knew another way,
To get myself out of this place.

I don’t feel like you need me here,
To complicate the simple tasks.
I guess I’ve finally decided to show,
The face beneath the mask.

I know it will be hard for you,
To go on without me here.
I simply beg you not to cry,
Don’t shed a single tear.

I guess I’ve said enough for now,
And I hope that you all see.
The only thing my death will do,
Is take each of you from me.

I'M STILL HERE

MY WONDERFUL BROTHER
OK. I know i have been slacking, but I have been really busy. Guess what! We are moving. They say that when God closes a door he opens a window. My brother called me last night and asked me if we still wanted to buy his house. Once again, I explained to him that we could not get a bank loan for the house. He has agreed to rent the house to Bill and I until we can buy it. I am soooooooooooooo happy. Not only do we get to go back home like we want to, but we finally get a HOME. I have been on cloud nine all day, even though things did not go quite as smoothly as I would hope. I met my brother at the house at 10 this morning to find 4 1/2 feet of water in the basement. Apparently, the last renters had turned the electricity off and the electric company had neglected to put it back over in my brother's name like they were suppose to, and a water pipe froze and busted. I would hate to see this month's water bill, but we got it all pumped out, and I spent all day peeling wall paper and painting. It was wonderful!! To actually be given free reign over how my house will look when I get done w/ it. My brother has told me that I can do whatever I want to it, within reason. I will be working on it every day so that we can move in a month, if at all possible. So, hooray for me! I am so happy!

ALL I WANT

OK. Here we go with the more personalized blog. Have you ever wanted something so bad, but have absolutely no way of getting it? My husband wanted one thing out of life. A loving wife and great kids. He got it. So, tell me, why my want seems so unreachable to me. I don't wanna be rich, or famous, or even skinny and beautiful. All I want is for my family to have a home that is ours. That is all. That is it. I just want to buy a house. Unfortunately, our credit history keeps us from doing this. Now, that we have good jobs, our bills are always paid, and we always have a little extra each month, no one will give us a home loan because of our PAST credit problems. I guess we went about things the wrong way. Once we got our finances on the right track, we avoided credit cards, bank accounts, and new vehicles. We have always bought vehicles that we could afford to buy out right, and we deal w/ cash, and money orders. No checking accounts. Now, because of our bad past credit, and our current no credit, I can't have what I want more than anything. I just want a house that I can make a home !

JUST BLOGGING

OK. I sit here at my computer eating my milk duds, and drinking my Mountain Dew. My house is very quiet except for the TV and the sound of the tapping keys. The girls are all three at school today, thank goodness, we have all been sick. This crazy Missouri weather has got everyone feeling ick ! Sorry, just realized I was rhyming. It is the poet in me. I find I do it in conversation too. Not necessarily rhyming, but the flow of the words changes without me even thinking about it. Well, I have been on this blog site for more than a month. I have found many interesting people that have a lot to say. I think I enjoy reading other people's writing as much as writing my own. Some days, that is all that I do, I just sit and read what everyone else is writing. I think I will start getting a little bit more personal w/ some of my blogs. Go down memory lane every once in a while. I hope this will not bore my few, but faithful readers. I think the one primary question that I am facing right now is , How Personal Do I Get? Where do you draw the line? What limits do you put on your writing when you don't know who will be reading it? These questions are the only thing that has been holding me back from putting too much of myself into this blog. I think it is time to remove the boundaries, and just be myself. So, here we go. It is time to be me.

A LITTLE ABOUT ME

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