A LITTLE LAUGHTER GOES A LONG WAY

"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it."

Bill Cosby

This is one of my favorite quotes and one that I attempt to live my life by. When I was in school I was pretty much the "class clown". I had a lot of different things going on in my life, and I found that by making other people laugh I could escape my own pain even if just for a little while. I guess that it just kinda stuck after a while. As some of my readers know, I created this blog as a place to find my voice. I know who I used to be, I know who wanna be, but I can't seem to find who I am right now. I am a mother. I am a wife. Other than that, I am a little lost. I am really comfortable being myself around my husband and kids, and there is never a shortage of laughter around our house. For some reason though, I have trouble letting that side of myself out when I am around other people. This, sometimes, makes me come across as insecure which makes it difficult to make new friends. I spent my whole life in a very small rural community in central Missouri, and never ever had a shortage of friends. These are the people that I am still most comfortable around. Maybe this is why I have had a hard time adjusting to living where I am now. I wanna go home. Bill has told me that I can look for a house back home, and the kids are very excited about going back to where all of our family is. So, as soon as it is financially possible, I will be going home. Sorry, got off the subject a little. I guess what I was saying is this......If by bringing laughter to some other person, you bring some peace of mind to yourself, then you win. If you touch just one person with your humor, and can bring a smile to another's face, then you will go far in this life. So, in conclusion, don't ever be afraid to be yourself no matter how goofy that self may be.

GRANDPA, TELL ME 'BOUT THE GOOD OL' DAYS

Alzheimer's disease is a progressive disease that damages nerve cells (neurons) in parts of the brain involved in memory, learning, language, and reasoning. As the disease progresses, communication among the neurons breaks down. In early stages, short-term memory begins to fail. Over time, functions such as long-term memory, language, and judgment decline. Alzheimer's disease is the most common cause of dementia in older adults. Dementia is a loss of mental functions--such as thinking, memory, and reasoning--that is severe enough to interfere with a person's daily functioning.
This is the textbook definition of what Alzheimer's disease is, but I have decided to post a more personal definition. My grandfather currently suffers from this disease, and as a CNA I deal w/ other people w/ the same illness on a daily basis. To me, Alzheimer's is best defined as....the destroyer of families, and the only disease known that causes more pain to the people around it than to the person who has it. I recently wrote a poem about my grandfather's condition, and although it is not completely accurate due to artistic creativity, it is the basis of what most families deal with everyday of this disease. This poem was published by my grandfather's nursing home, and again by the National Alzheimer's Association. I hope my readers enjoy !!

This Place I Don't Know

By: Tanjua S. Waddle

Looking through pale blue eyes, the sparkle has gone dim.

Who am I? When am I? Where is this place I am in?

Later today I will sit and I'll dine,

and realize I'm old and haven't much time.

Just for right now, I'm a man of twenty-three.

I'm fighting the war and long to be free.

What am I doing here? What is this place?

I look in the mirror and don't know the face.

People all around me, with smiles and hellos.

There are nice people here, in this place I don't know.

My days are confusing, one moment to the next,

but the people here are kind and treat me with respect.

They say this is my home now, but I can not comprehend.

The people here take care of me, they want to be my friends.

I wander all the hallways looking all around,

but the home that I remember is nowhere to be found.

Sure I have my days when things seem very clear,

but mostly I just spend my days holding back the tears.

Although they treat me good here, I still don't know what's real.

I miss my wife and my kids, they should be with me still.

I know my loved one's visit, more often than I recall.

It's not the same as having them here, to catch me if I fall.

My things are all around me, but it's not the same.

I stay here in this place called "home", and I know they're not to blame.

I'm sure that it was hard for them, to bring me here to stay.

I know they miss me. I miss them, each and every day.

My wife, she comes here daily. My children twice a week.

Why must I repeat myself, when I try to speak.

I see them holding back their tears, and it hurts me so.

I know that it is heartbreaking, when they have to go.

There are days when I don't know them, and I get real mad.

These are the days that hurt the most, and leave me feeling sad.

I sit and remember days gone by, though it seems like it was today.

Why is my mind playing tricks on me? Help me I am afraid.

My days here are not bad it's true.

There are a lot of things that I can do.

There is music and games, and lots of fine folks.

The nurses all smile and tell us all jokes.

My family they call me, when they can not make it here.

I try and I try to keep my mind clear.

I hope that they realize, I love them all so.

They did what they had to, they love me I know.

I don't blame them a bit, it must have been hard.

They'll always be here for me, they'll never go far.

I miss them so much, but this is where I must be.

I needed more than they could give me, this "home" is what I need.

Currently, about 4.5 million Americans suffer from Alzheimer's disease, and about 22,000 people die from Alzheimer's disease every year. The Alzheimer's Association estimates that one in 10 people over age 65 and nearly half of people over 85 have Alzheimer's disease. The number of Americans with Alzheimer's disease is expected to increase to 14 million by 2050, unless a cure or preventive measure can be found. The worst part about this disease is that sometimes it attacks otherwise healthy individuals (like my grandpa). His mind is gone, but his body is healthy. This seems, very much, like a cruel joke. For more information......

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/health/brain/alzheimers/alz.about.htm

HOW DO WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN ???

- Reported cases of child sexual abuse reached epidemic proportions, with a reported 322 percent increase from 1980 to 1990.
-278 percent increase from 1990 to 2000
-150 million girls and 73 million boys under 18 experienced forced sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual violence during 2006.

Rate of child abuse by race:
- White = 51%
- African American = 25%
- Hispanic = 15%
- American Indian/Alaska Natives = 2% - Asian/Pacific Islanders = 1%

I ran across these statistics today while I was surfing the Internet. I found them to be very disturbing. At first, I was not sure if this topic was appropriate for me to blog about, but then I reconsidered. This issue is out there. It is real and it happens every day. If you are wondering what prompted this blog, I will tell you. There is a new commercial on TV that is for a sexual abuse intervention group. It starts out by saying....1 in 9 boys, and 1 in 4 girls will be a victim of sexual abuse before the age of 14. This prompted me to wonder......... " HOW DO WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN?". It also claims that a child is more likely to be the victim of abuse than to be involved in an automobile accident. These statistics are staggering, if not just a little scary. The worst part of these statistics, is that it only reflects reported incidents. How many more children are out there hurting that no one knows about? I myself was a victim when I was younger, but this was long ago and has been worked out and put behind me. I will not pretend that it was not hard, and that it did not affect me, but I got through it and moved on. I would just hope that all parents in this busy world of today, would slow down long enough to think about who they have their children around. In a time of babysitter shortages and after-school activities, parents need to take the time to get to know the people their children spend time with. Do not be afraid to talk to your children. Teach them about good touching and bad touching, and make sure that your children know that they can trust you and talk to you about anything. Fear of punishment and being blamed are the two top reasons why abuse goes unreported. Children also feel that the abuse is in some way their fault. These feelings of guilt keep these statistics much lower than they probably are in reality. Be open w/ your children and make sure they know you are there for them unconditionally. For more information on this topic see the following website....

www.prevent-abuse-now.com

HOLY SHIT !! IS THIS MY HOUSE ??

Ladies and gentleman, I think she finally got it. Tonight was the first time in two years that I got to come home from work to a clean house. I sat down and had a long talk w/ my babysitter today, and I think I finally got through. Bill and I put up this big ass poster board labeled NEW RULES. I explained each one and what I expected from her and the kids. I will share my rules w/ you. It is nothing too difficult.

1. NO PLAYSTATION (that is all she used to do)
2. Kids will be cleaned up and in PAJAMA's before going to bed (the pajama thing is a serious pet peeve of mine...i don't like finding my kids in clothes while they are sleeping.)
3. Bedrooms will be picked up before bedtime.
4. CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF (the kids are not your slaves)
5. Please feed my children REAL food.
6. Include EVERYONE in activities.

*BILL AND I WILL NO LONGER PAY YOU FOR DOING NOTHING !!!!!!

So, this is all I ask of my babysitter. Hopefully, tonight was not a one time deal. I don't expect any miracles, I just have to know that when I am not home, that my kids are SAFE and well taken care of. I have to know that my kids are not eating junk and doing unsafe activities ....(like the time they rode the mattress down the stairs and put a hole in my wall).

I don't expect her to be me, but my rules should always apply !!!! I think the worst part about this whole deal is that my babysitter, who is a very shy and loving girl, has a mother who takes all of her babysitting money to pay her bills because she won't go get a job. So sometimes her mom will make her call me and ask for more money. Her mother and I have had it out over this numerous times, but I am not gonna punish the child for the ways of her mother. I hope this new side of her remains, and then maybe I can put my mind at ease. I just want my kids to be well taken care of when I can't be here. That is all for NOW !!!!

O... TO BE 18

• Being 17-18 Means . .
  "Where Am I Going and Where Have I Been?"
  


• You personally coin the expression Seize the Day.
  


• At last you are an adult. (Aren't you?)
  


• This is your time to be respected by one and all.
  


• Sex, sex, sex, sex . . . SEX! (SEX!)
  


• You can afford to be a little nostalgic about your childhood, defined as the period of your life that ended roughly yesterday but also seems like a hundred years ago.
  


• You are divided between feelings of total comfort around school and excruciating restlessness.
  


• You suffer a most un-Zenlike burning desire to leave an impression. You want to make yourself a few memories, and you want to be remembered.
  


• Your relationships are even more important, painful, and rewarding.
  


• What happened to your independent, accomplished, strong-willed, clear-eyed parents?! Now they start to be very clingy. (What time are you coming home? Can I look at your application? Why do you need to go out on a weeknight? You wearing socks or not? How come you can't go to a movie with us?)
  


• Is college for me? If so, where? If not, why not? And if not, then what?
  


• If you're college bound, a special bonus reward for you: incalculable first-semester stress in classes and throughout the entire application ordeal.
  


• My classmates are my world! And everything changes come June!
  


• You imagine that adults can be your friends. They're certainly your equals. (Can we stay in touch after graduation?)
  


• Time! There just isn't enough.
  


• Oops. Blip on the screen. Senioritis. (What, me worry?)
  


• Sometimes, in the middle of an afternoon class, you study watermarks on the ceiling and think, Why won't this year ever end?
  


• Oh, no, senior year is over already . . . How did that happen? Where did high school go?


• What did I miss? What didn't I miss?

These are comments found on http://www.familyeducation.com/ and are only a small portion of what you feel on the day that you become an "adult". Today is my little sisters birthday. She is 18 as of today, and soon to be on her way to finding her own life. I remember 18. Unfortunately it was not as happy of a time for me as it is for her. RosaLee is smart, very pretty, and has a good head on her shoulders as to where she is and where she wants to go. She has almost made it. If she can just go these next few months w/ out screwing up, she will be out of our hometown and away from the rapidly declining rural community that we call home. I, on the other hand, spent my senior year wondering how I was going to raise a baby on my own, and pissed off over the full college scholarship I had just flushed down the toilet because I was in "love". These are some of the hard realities that a lot of today's youth face. Where am I going? What will I do?

*I am 29 years old, and I still don't know the answers to these questions. I know that I am a mother and a wife, and I have a CNA license and enjoy taking care of the elderly, but I also know that I would like to become a nurse, but that it is not a financially smart move at this juncture in my life. Maybe when the kids get older. It seems that this is my answer to just about everything that I wanna do, but what I fail to realize is.....that as the kids get older, so do I.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO BRITNEY?????

WE REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL.
BRITNEY WAS A ROLE MODEL FOR ALL YOUNG GIRLS.

THIS VERY TALENTED YOUNG LADY HAS BECOME
WHAT WE FEAR FOR ALL CELEBRITIES.

MALIBU, Calif. Feb 21, 2007 — Britney Spears left a live-in rehabilitation facility early Wednesday, just hours after checking in, according to reports. It was the second time in a week that Spears entered a rehab facility and checked out within hours.---->>>


Someone please tell me what kind of role model this is for 2 small children. Popping in and out of rehab centers is not a smart move for someone involved in a child custody battle. It is known that Federline intends to ask the court for support and sole custody of Jayden James, 5 months, and Sean Preston, 17 months. After Spears moved to end their two-year marriage in November, a temporary order issued Feb. 1 granted joint custody through this month. I just wish she could get her head on straight, her career on track, and do what she needs to do for those 2 babies. Britney, what happened to you.:????

LOOKING BACK

For anyone out there who doesn't know, I have a 10 yr. old daughter that I had just a few short months after graduating high school. Her biological father has never been a part of her life. Don't get the wrong idea, he knows all about her. He simply CHOOSES not to be a part of her growing up. A good friend of mine, who knew both of us back in the day, got to talking to me the other night online about everything I went through by being a single, teen mother. While we were talking, my pen started writing. This happens very often. Sometimes, I can be doing just about anything and a new poem will start spewing. So for anyone out there who has also found themselves alone w/ a baby and a lost love, the following poem is for you. Hope you enjoy it...

SHATTERED

by: Tanjua S. Waddle

Shattered and falling to the floor.

My heart breaks into a million splinters.

To think back on that youthful summer,

and forget the pain of that winter.

A summer filled w/ all your love,

your kisses and warm embrace.

A winter filled w/ emptiness and sorrow,

and this hard truth that I must face.

When you were here for me, all was well.

You held me close inside your heart.

Then winter came and you were lost,

and the cold winter breeze kept us apart.

Together we created this child.

Now we are apart, and I raise her alone.

You were too weak to stake your claim,

so now I raise her on my own.

She has never seen you smile at her.

Never heard the voice I know so well.

She is the mirror image of the face I loved.

What her life will be, only time will tell.

Shattered and falling to the floor.

My heart breaks into a million splinters.

To think back on that youthful summer,

and forget the pain of that winter.